I’ve been part of the environmental movement since the 1970s, and I know how to blame the bad guys and how good it feels to fight what is wrong. I can still tap into this powerful feeling.
But through practising aikido and meditation, and especially during my work with the Wider Embraces, I’ve also come to realise that there are other ways of looking at our relation to the planet. Ways that are more fruitful if we are going to survive on this planet in the long run. I’m convinced that a crucial step is to realise that we are one Humanity, and part of that path is forgiveness. Though not any kind of forgiveness.
The Wider Embraces opens us to two paths to forgiveness – A deeper understanding of the underlying structures and the unconditional perspective. When we combine these with the personal and moral perspectives on forgiveness, we gain a robust toolkit to handle conflicts both within ourselves and in our wider circles.
Reasons to Forgive
Let’s start with sorting out the different reasons we have to forgive. There might be several more, but these are the ones I’ve chosen. You are very welcome to add your favourites in the comment section.
- Health – I forgive because it’s good for both my mental and bodily health. Carrying resentment and a grudge is not beneficial for anyone.
- Moral – I forgive according to my morals or the morals of my society.
- Truth – I forgive because I understand the underlying structures. I get why it happened.
- Unconditional perspective – I forgive because there is only Now, and everything is as it is.
The first two are personal; it’s me forgiving. The last two require a wider view, and this is where the Wider Embraces is such a powerful tool.
Personal – Interrelational Forgiveness
With the first two reasons to forgive, it’s I who decides whether I want to forgive or not, and if I do, I still believe that the other person did something wrong. My opinion doesn’t change, only my relation to it. The downside with these types of forgiveness is that it’s easy to feel superior and continue to entertain grievances – I forgive you, but … The upside is that I take responsibility for my life and others, and I’m supporting a moral society.
Wider Perspectives – Transrelational Forgiveness
In the last two, there is no active decision. Forgiveness just happens when we understand why or view it from the unconditional perspective. There is nothing to forgive anymore.
The downside here is that it can quickly turn into an amoral stand; anything goes. We can understand almost any wrongdoing by digging into the past or finding reasons in biology or sociological factors. And from the unconditional perspective, there is a total lack of human morals.
A particular problem with the unconditional perspective is that you can forgive yourself for doing anything. When I first sensed this, I was horrified. I could give myself carte blanche to be amoral. Unfortunately, some spiritual people are utilising this feature of the ‘awakened state’. The upside is that these wider perspectives very effectively dissolve the issue altogether. There is nothing left to forgive.
Forward – We Need All Four!
A moral framework is essential to discern right from wrong; society can’t function without some common moral ground. Combined with a dose of understanding and an unconditional view, it gets more complex to forgive but more genuine.
We can entertain all of these perspectives in the Wider Embraces process. We move from personal well-being to becoming aware of our morals, understanding more of the structures and taking the unconditional view.
Back to where we started, becoming one Humanity. It’s at first scary to sincerely feel that all the people I despise are held unconditionally by the Embrace of Planet Earth, just as I am. But to experience this and know that it’s true is immensely liberating. And at the same time, I need to employ my moral compass. Moving back and forth between the different perspectives of forgiveness.